"Waiting Up"

I am the mother of a toddler and preschooler.  My typical worries include not letting them fall down the stairs, run in front of cars, and making sure they hold my hand when in public.  They may take a lot of energy from me, but for the most part, I can keep their little world safe.  I can make sure that the most dangerous items are out of reach and that I have insisted that they hold my hand and consequences occur to teach lessons.

In my deployed environment, I feel like the mother of teenagers. Those who are old enough to do their own thing, but still need to listen, check in their whereabouts, and call home to let me know they will be late.  Those little things mean all the difference.  When they are gone for longer than anticipated, I worry.  When they are late without any notice… I get irritated because I am worried.  When they are finally home, I’m relieved.  Normal worries would include parties, girls, drunk drivers, and other likely scenarios.  Here my thoughts are filled with other dangers, other possibilities.  I try to occupy myself with work or leisure items, until even those distractions do not allow me the opportunity to do something a bit different.  At home, I would be watching for headlights to pull into the drive or the sound of keys in the door.  Here, I'm listening to for the sound of a helicopter overhead as I anticipate their arrival.  I know they are armed and probably better trained than I am in some areas of soldiering, but that still does not decrease my level of worry until I hear that cheerful voice announcing their return.