Mission at Home

As Soldiers, we embark on a great journey.  We leave to accomplish a mission in an unknown environment.  Each day feels much like Bill Murray's never ending week from Ground Hog's Day and yet it provides enough change to feel fulfilling (or exhausting) at the end.  Prior to leaving I was told that it deployment equaled long days and short weeks as one muddles through the inevitable process. As married Soldiers, we are issued a new title while deployed: geographic bachelor.  We are allowed to attend programs sponsored by BOSS (Better Opportunities for Single Soldiers) and spend much of our time thinking about our spouses.  Deployments are hard on anyone, but I do believe the spouses have the hardest job of all.

Spouses have a much different challenge.  They are required to stay in the same environment that offers those familiar cues of a loved one being gone.  The second half of a bed is empty; a chair is open at the dinner table.  Chores and responsibilities are left behind for the other to assume. Everything must be done to accomplish the mission at home as well as supporting the Soldier down range with thoughts, emails, conversations and of course care packages to let them know you are thinking about him/her.  Many people think this is just like their loved one being on an extended business trip, which is very different than having someone deployed.

My husband has taken all of this in stride.  He has adapted his ability to cook and multi-task with two small children.  He has learned to take time out for himself and still is able to send an email (or a few) a day to remind me that he's thinking about me.  And I do the same.  We attempt to fill our spare time with moments of togetherness despite our distance of nearly 9,000 miles.  That distance is made shorter with the sound of laughter on the phone as another stressor or dilemma is discussed together.  It is conveyed with the reports of children's activities at home.  Little notes to of "good morning" to one as the other is preparing for bed.  It can even be shared through a movie that is watched together on our "date" as we discuss the movie plot through instant messaging and chatting.  I am in an area that does not allow me the opportunity to Skype due to bandwidth issues, but we at least have the ability to type out a message, call home at least once a week if not more, and just share a little bit of our time together despite the distance.  Ultimately, a military marriage takes creativity, patience, and understanding for the limitless amount of FRAGOs (changes) that occur in any given time.  It is not easy, but it will weather many things as long as there is the desire to complete both missions: at home and abroad.