The days are passing quickly before I am to return to the same locations
(even with the same unit) for a second round in Afghanistan. The
"dwell" time has passed so quickly with a move to new locations, new
jobs, and boys starting school. This does not mention the numerous
business trips designed to teach new skills and ensure successful mission completion.
With only a few days to go, I can remember those dreaded feelings last time and tearful conversations with boys who could not grasp the concept of Mom being gone. A three year old and 13 month old could not easily grasp the concept, nor could I easily understand the monumental shift my life would take during the last tour. My three year old is almost six, and my 13 month old is now three. They have experienced longer stretches of my absence within this last year and are verbalizing that they will miss me "when [I] have to go away, again." Our rubber ducky transitional objects from the last deployment have turned into characters from Doc McStuffins. Of course, Mom gets the white fluffy lamb to take with me to a very dirty environment because "She looks like you! She's wearing pink!" Dinosaurs are present to provide comfort, company, and the ability for monster chasing thanks to a spontaneous trip to the science museum.
I find it truly amazing that our mind has the ability to create a sense of normal from completely abnormal situations. Maybe this is why God called me to be a psychologist - to help others create this sense of normal and peace despite absolute levels of chaos. My emotions have stayed fairly steady this time as I have a frame of reference for my mission, my unit, and my team. This is no longer an anxiety-provoking unknown. Instead, this produces a normal level of response that this is another mission... another chapter in my job within the military. Even with that knowledge of this being another mission, that strong unexpected hug around my neck in the middle of church this last week brought tears to my eyes as we song my youngest son's favorite worship song.
While many things remain the same for what to expect, different challenges have also developed. My boys are school age children now requiring me to share them during the days with their teachers. I want to hoard the time I have left and not share these little guys with anyone, not even school, and yet, as a parent I must stress the importance of education. The weekends seem all too short as we try to pack in as much together time as possible. I am absent for different holidays as well as not located in any particular area for things like Mother's Day and Father's Day. I cannot send items home to those in the states, it is too early to shop, and the boys cannot keep a secret that long to allow them to engage in traditional making of gifts for Father's Day or even shopping. I have had to think a little farther outside the box and request unusual assistance from those around us. I am entrusting others to do my traditional tasks such as making birthday cakes and helping shop for presents.
My boys are leaning on others beside their Mom to continue to grow. That may be one of the hardest aspects of heading overseas at this time in their life. Dad does a great job, but we are opposite. As a united parenthood, they receive two sides of the relationship to help them grow. Friends and family can help; however, it is not what I would tell them necessarily or how I may approach a situation. I find myself imparting as much knowledge as I can now to ensure they try to remember that in the future since I cannot be a constant reminder while I am overseas. I have to trust that God knows what plans he has for me and for the boys.
With only a few days to go, I can remember those dreaded feelings last time and tearful conversations with boys who could not grasp the concept of Mom being gone. A three year old and 13 month old could not easily grasp the concept, nor could I easily understand the monumental shift my life would take during the last tour. My three year old is almost six, and my 13 month old is now three. They have experienced longer stretches of my absence within this last year and are verbalizing that they will miss me "when [I] have to go away, again." Our rubber ducky transitional objects from the last deployment have turned into characters from Doc McStuffins. Of course, Mom gets the white fluffy lamb to take with me to a very dirty environment because "She looks like you! She's wearing pink!" Dinosaurs are present to provide comfort, company, and the ability for monster chasing thanks to a spontaneous trip to the science museum.
I find it truly amazing that our mind has the ability to create a sense of normal from completely abnormal situations. Maybe this is why God called me to be a psychologist - to help others create this sense of normal and peace despite absolute levels of chaos. My emotions have stayed fairly steady this time as I have a frame of reference for my mission, my unit, and my team. This is no longer an anxiety-provoking unknown. Instead, this produces a normal level of response that this is another mission... another chapter in my job within the military. Even with that knowledge of this being another mission, that strong unexpected hug around my neck in the middle of church this last week brought tears to my eyes as we song my youngest son's favorite worship song.
While many things remain the same for what to expect, different challenges have also developed. My boys are school age children now requiring me to share them during the days with their teachers. I want to hoard the time I have left and not share these little guys with anyone, not even school, and yet, as a parent I must stress the importance of education. The weekends seem all too short as we try to pack in as much together time as possible. I am absent for different holidays as well as not located in any particular area for things like Mother's Day and Father's Day. I cannot send items home to those in the states, it is too early to shop, and the boys cannot keep a secret that long to allow them to engage in traditional making of gifts for Father's Day or even shopping. I have had to think a little farther outside the box and request unusual assistance from those around us. I am entrusting others to do my traditional tasks such as making birthday cakes and helping shop for presents.
My boys are leaning on others beside their Mom to continue to grow. That may be one of the hardest aspects of heading overseas at this time in their life. Dad does a great job, but we are opposite. As a united parenthood, they receive two sides of the relationship to help them grow. Friends and family can help; however, it is not what I would tell them necessarily or how I may approach a situation. I find myself imparting as much knowledge as I can now to ensure they try to remember that in the future since I cannot be a constant reminder while I am overseas. I have to trust that God knows what plans he has for me and for the boys.
No comments:
Post a Comment