A graduated sense of separation

My time in the states feels just like another trip away from the boys. Cell-phones are still working and I have access to talking to Kevin while waiting.  And there is no shortage in waiting.  

The final preparation feels like two days of training packed into seven.  Early morning formations in a different time zone mean early bedtimes and not much time to call between naps and bedtime.  Many hours are spent wishing for something to do and feeling confined to the compound. There are many different levels of readiness for those coming through this course.  Many of us were screened at our posts and viewed as 100% complete equating to more time on our hands waiting for the next formation, a chance to workout in the gym, or waiting for the next meal so we have something to do.

I realize how tied I am to technology.  The wireless internet has been down for a few days, so favorite past times are not possible, neither is Skype.  Tonight was the first time I had the opportunity to see the boys.  It was fun to watch them play and be their normal silly self.  My husband read the baby's current favorite bed time book, "Over There."  My oldest has it memorized by now and is reciting it along with Dad.  At the end, I see the little guy lean down and give me a kiss.  I wish I could be there to receive that kiss myself; however, seeing it is second best. 

Opportunities present themselves within the numerous waiting periods.  I am learning not to waste them. During a large block of down-time, a group of docs went on a shopping trip to spring us from the compound and make a few connections.  We had a sense of normal in the midst of preparation. A trip to the surplus store, an office supply store and of course, a coffee shop meant that we were human. (And a friend made who's favorite coffee shop is also BigFoot!) Had technology worked, we might have all been connected with something else instead of with each other.  And yet, technology is what keeps us connected to our loved ones who are supporting us at home.  It becomes a delicate balance to use the resources we have at this time to create a sense of connection to both worlds: our home family and our deployed family.